Life

Have you ever just wanted to get out of the house and just keep on walking?

Ever just wanted to walk away from everything? Or felt like you have no one to talk to or that even if you did, they wouldn't even know where to begin to understand what you're feeling? That's pretty much how I feel right now. Every afternoon I go out and walk as slowly home as I possibly can - I'm starting to wonder if one day I might just walk past without looking back. Right now everything just feels like it's so much effort. Too much effort.

How can I even begin to tell anyone how I'm feeling? Because unless you are going through it yourself, you have absolutely no idea how difficult things can get, or that even the slightest 'wrong' comment or 'bad look' from that one person who is expected (by yourself) to know how it feels can send you into a wallowing pit of lugubrious emotion.

I crave wanting to talk to you, but I know you don't get it, or if you do, it doesn't seem like you're interested. I just want you to help me feel better. And sometimes you do. But right now, it doesn't feel like it. Right now everything just feels so so wrong. It feels like I don't belong anywhere I thought I did. And I don't know how to do this any more.